dal

I am not obliged to update regularly nor put up posts to your interests.

here's how it goes. i'll most likely reply on your tagboard. but if you don't have one, the reply goes here.

kak mard's being inconsiderate.

dad wanted to buy me a mobile phone last sat. he asked kak mard to follow so that she can guide me. however, kak mard refused as she claimed she was extremely tired. i'm not saying she's selfish just because i can't get my handphone but also because dad had to wait for her in order to change the telephone(because the IDD's not working) at the same shop. now, we've to wait for cny to be over.
but i am not complainin' openly as i know i should not be petty about my handphone because i don't have the right to; kak hafi only got her hp when she's 18 while kak mard, 1 day after she turned 16. that is kak mard bought it herself+ foot the bill herself. so what right do i have to get it in the age of 13+? dad suddenly decided to give me so why not...? ha ha. but actually...what's wrong if i get my hp now? can you see a pattern? 18, 16, 14? yup. just the right age. i am 14!
kak nur once compare herself with us, "i only got a pager when i was in poly(or jc. i don't know). but now you see, primary schoolers have got a handphone already" i don't give a damn if people last time got their hps "late". simply because there were no such things as hps when they were young. it's not that i feel left out without hps but it's for convenience. in 2M, the only ones without hps are yili & me, i think. even my cousin nuru, alif, suya got 1. i know why my parents "can't afford" to buy us hps. they prefer to spend things on food & furnitures. expecially mum. she always compare something with food, "that t-shirt you bought for $20+ can buy food for the whole family."

besides that, kak mard still believe in: the more you nag, the more i refuse. she's the type who prioritise her things 1st, like...computer rather than mum. i mean, if she's chatting with someone & mum called her to do something immediately, she would prefer finish chatting than immediately got up & attend to mum's instructions, even though mum's at her top of her high-pitched voice, "mard!!! aku dah 5 kali suruh kau buang sampah tak buat-buat juga. aku nak kau buang sekarang juga. off computer...!!!". she will still carry on finishing up typing her last line to her friends. in this case, i suffer in terms of hearing.
talking about mum, my siblings' not the type of "rude" ones. like banging the door when scolded. now that i'm getting my handphone, i will use that as a reason not to talk back to my parents. that's how much i appreciate having a handphone.

my batch who went for the second energy conservation course is unlucky.

we're divided into (supposedly) 2 groups - the 1st went on the 6th & 13th & ours was on 20th & 27th. here is the list of advantages & disadvantages of going on 20th & 27th. due to cny eve eve, many people couldn't go for the 2nd one. so only 6 from sirius went.



cons:
.we didn't get to meet the sec 1s for their 1st parade
.we had to attend 3 parades whereas the 1st batch only 2 because the 27th parade was brought forward to 26th due to cny eve eve. so we had to sit for a test on cny eve eve while my friends were havin' fun
.we had muster parade. they didn't
.the parade we missed was very slack. no campcraft session. instead, mass cheering.
.had 4 tests(including the course's test) on the 2nd week of the course; lesser time to study for the course's test


pros:
.proud that we go through more than the 1st batch do
.experienced the greatest parade with ma'am gera & ma'am hild. we learned a new drill & they managed to get all of us to stand up straight(when the 1st batch resumed parade with us, the squad looked sloppy.muaha). all these are done in 1 drill session. pt was fun. they can be fun, they can be fierce yet gained respect from us too. they even gave us chocalates! salute 'em man.


i did the home audit & studied for the test at the eleventh hour. the week before that was damn packed orh. had to finished 10 stylised drawings & study for science(which i don't understand) & geography test. the home audit was done(unproperly) 1 day before & i studied for the test few hours before the test. upon reachin' home after the cny concert, i studied for the test until 1+. in between i had lunch & make lunch for baha. then, i bathed. i couldn't bathe any earlier 'cause the toilet was occupied. mum & baha had to go out by 1330. kak mard needed to leave for work by 2. so it clashes. praying was after my bath.
left house at 1345. hopped on the bus. unfortunately, there was a jam at eunos. reached the mrt station at 1400. & i reached somerset precisely at 1430 & was the last. but ma'ams looked pissed. oops...sorry. the test was actually OK but i forgot all my facts in the hurry. i didn't realise there was a crossword puzzle behind the sheet of paper until rosa & i were the only ones left from cedar in the theathrette. i rushed through & i left 3 blanks. i didn't know the answer! 1 of them was like...grey metal that form nuclear energy. did we learn that????
met hazi on the way back. i don't think he recognised me.

finally i know how to lengthen my skirt:
loosen the waist hook so that it's not too high up on my waist. smart right?


i've no idea why other classes said we are very lucky to have a superb math teacher. his explanation is not that good & i'm always left wondering myself the logic behind each statement.



regarding malay lessons, you could say it's kind of a waste of time. even though the class has been splitted so that we're concentrated on. i got the teacher who is capable of talking so long for just a trivial matters. so most of the time we just listen to her talks. i'm not saying it's boring but isn't it better if the time is spent on the malay language itself?
we have the advantage of handing in of work late as she's not that strict. that's quite bad actually. moreover, she does not keep to her schedule. like today supposed to be doing peribahasa, she will do other things. if not, talking. *chuckles*
i don't mind this but it shouldn't be happening. it's considered as bias. she is more dedicated to the 2S student. those loud ones. so the rest just talk among themselves. & if there's any external activities like the YESCOM, she will only involve the ones closer to her. probably MLDDS or 2S.
like hello, there's one student here interested in this language. at least this is the only subject i can score. not to be boastful but i think i have the potential. so maximise it! currently, i'm finding my malay language dropping. i want cikgu khad back. always there for us, always pushing us up, always sacrifing her time. her way of teaching is tedious but successful. she will insists of writing every meaning of a vocab word even if we knew it already. that's how my vocabulary is satisfactory=). but now we don't practise much on compostions till my vocabulary decreases. i know i can do this own my own pace but...
talkin' about compositions, i've always been encouraged in my primary school to write narrative & avoid argumentative. but for secondary, the latter is to be taken for safety reasons. so the work done in primary school is kinda wasted. i'm of course weaker in argumentative as i always can't think of enough suitable content. i will keep repeating the same content but in different styles. cikgu once announced proudly that we're lucky to have a teacher who teaches the format used in composing. i was like...why must you be proud just because you teach a format? i don't believe other schools don't teach their students formats. i don't think you're the only one who does that.
the school's malay standard is dropping. how do you expect the students to score in their malay if this is the way they are being taught? but i appreciate cikgu's understanding of our daily work. she always give in to other subjects. for instance, many homework for other subjects; she will give less homework. other subject tests on the day we were supposed to have malay test; she'll postpone the malay test.

see i told ya the plan to unite the family won't succeed. at least for now. dad said we could discuss matters with them anytime. however this afternoon i questioned mum about baha sleeping during prayer times & what i received was cold unsincere reply + a scolding from her.

sec1 squad owns the number 26. just what i wanted. sirius was also happy it's not 27. haha. though it's decreasing, it's considered a lot compared to the previous squads & other ug(excludes gg). i'm looking forward to looking them. i wonder if i should be the kind type of senior or the fierce one. let's see...

i still think my skirt is short.



i bet i'll be turnin' in very late later. too many things to be settled:-
.science ws & wb
.revise science to catch up what mrs tan's teaching
.coat boots
.geog ws & wb
.start on a stylised drawing(art)
.malay article-related

wow

but i still can find time to blog. hah!

we were half way through far east when she decided that she can't take the stomach cramp. the pain was so unbearable that she can't walk. so we had to go home. i felt pity for her, but at the same time, disappointed & sad. disappointed because this is about the 3rd time i had to postpone my buying of wallet. she said she would accompany me this weekend. actually i prefer to go yesterday but she refused as she was damn tired from work. if only we went yesterday... i hope she realised she should not delay time...


sad as she threw bad words to me. reason being i was irritating her by asking her "stupid" questions like 'can't we walk slowly to the bustop instead of stayin', waitin' for the pain to fade?'. i mean does pain gives the right to scold people? the most i've ever scolded others when i'm angry/irritated is the word stupid.
so i numbed myself. again. i didn't know i'm this sensitive. since amir is not with me i realised i've becoming more emotionally fragile. if she's here, i would compare myself with her, who's more pathetic than me.
i'm now surrounded with rich friends. i'm surrounded with spoilt people. temptations, get it...temptations.

okay nevermind. i found out that it closes at 1830 on weekdays. aaww...

if ever we have to leave the school in 5 mins time after dismissal of the parade, i have no worries if my drink have finished. i can always buy drinks from the newly opened shop, juice station, near the bustop. apart from the coca-cola vending machine. provided the juice station is open on fridays, around 6+. should be.

yesterday i only manage to catch only the last 15mins of the show. or rather 10min('cause the show ends at 2225 instead of 2230) 'cause mum wanted to watch this show which ends at 2200. & then dad watch the tv for 15mins before doing his own work.
i numbed myself. i've not been watching tv for 2 days & when i wanted to watch in on friday, i have to let them watch it. yeah, sacrifice sometimes is a good thing.

okay i've just finished my math homework using excel. that reminds me of kak ayun. she said she never touched excel before. haha. my math teacher said that we ought to know how to use the programme for future use. so how come she doesn't know? surely one of the assignments needs it. haha but it's okay. at least i did a good deed to someone by teaching her how to use it. =P

i realised the last time i blogged was on tue. i thought it was 2 days ago. wow. time flies. or rather i should say i was too busy with school to mind about bloggin'.


2 days ago, dad wishes to unite our family. he admits he is in fault for our un-unity. i cried because 1stly, this is what i've been hoping a long time ago. 2ndly, i know we will not make it. because, i realised it is actually a tough job. 1st of all, dad's voice is too fierce & scary, i can easily cry when he scolds/teaches(because he does it like in a scolding way if we don't understand it) & even talks. so why interact with someone who can easily make you cry?
3rdly, parents will never understand nowadays teen's feeling. give you an example. i was eating fried egg without the egg yolk 'cause i dislike it. dad blamed me for following my friends for not liking it. i was like...what? can't we have disfavourites? must we like all things? it's unlogical man. i didn't argue back 'cause i know i will end up crying & it's also useless 'cause i know dad will insists he's correct so i just finish my food quickly & went back to my work. okay, so how do you interact like this? conclusion: we can never discuss anything with parents, especially with dad. especially on private matters.
last of all, it is all too late. it is depicted in my msn personal message. i will feel at unease if i show my intimidacy towards my family members. i bet they will too. it's just because we have not been doing that since we were born. i wonder how a child who has not seen her parents since she was very young, say 2 year old, feel. i always watch the documentary & they will be extremely happy when their wishes are fulfilled - to meet their parents. isn't it weird? i mean you almost don't know your parents, you've never feel their shower of love, how can you be happy when you are reunited with you parents? okay, maybe i'm not in their shoes so i'm not feeling what they are experiencing. but i'm just stating my view.
since that day dad wanted the unity, i became more uneasy & irritated with my parents. i don't know why, but maybe yesterday i had parade so maybe i was tired. maybe it's because i have the mentality of 'you said you wanted to unite, so why aren't you doing so?'


yay. ma'am already teach me how to polish MY boots. haha mine's an exception. 'cause the kiwi cracked(it's not my fault ok. i remebered the 1st parade wearing boots, we were unorganised with the u so they throw things everywhere, including my boots. that's how the boots get the cracks). the steps are, burn them, clear all the kiwi, recoat it about thrice, & start polishing! yay. but how do you burn it? shall ask li er.

today's the 1st time in 2006 i did apt in the morn. last wed - missed bus. last thu & this mon - woke up late(mum said there's something wrong with the alarm clock).



what's the big deal of wearing a pair of socks with alot of leftovers in the inner part of the shoe but it's still above the ankle? or make a one big fold on the upper part of the socks but it's still above the ankle? what's wrong with shoes without shoelace?


guys...i'm sorry i tend to keep quite with y'all. for the start of the new year, i'm adapting to the situation - sleeping late, waking up early. so most of the time i'm too tired to even project my voice across the group(i know i always mumble).
especially during class. i'd rather listen to the teacher than to divert my attention to the chatterings. so juli, i'm terribly sorry if you ever get bored with me. hey but i don't mind you singing away.
i want to get closer to lydi but she's too quiet. as i blogged before, she seems like amir.


yesterday i planned to prepare myself for history test at my grandparents' house so i brought history textbook along with me. but things didn't go as what it's suppose to be. upon reaching there, we settled at the living room & indulged into the kuih-muih on the table. like as if it's not enough, i ate lontong at the dining hall. then continued to watch tv; one leg kicking & hot chick. in between i prayed & ate some curry with bread.
usually, it goes like this. upon reaching, eat some kuih-muih. & then i followed kak mard & nadz up. so i thought maybe i could use that time to study. however, kak mard & nadz didn't talk much yesterday. weird.


ps:i should remind myself to be close with iman before she can't recognise me. hah.

ps: y^3 said i looked traumatised when somebody unintentionally blocked my way when i was going' out of the classroom. haha.

i hate boys. muahahaha.


i shall try posting in formal malay. so fun.


sebaik sahaja kumenjejaki kakiku ke rumah, terdengar takbir raya bergema di corong radio. sayu rasanya.


urm...think i'll stop there. so weird...


met kak anis yesterday on the way to suntec. so paiseh. i went back from suntec & missed a bus. that's why i came home late by 5 mins. late as in after maghrib. that's when i'm a little late to catch the chanting of versus in praising God(found in KAMUS POKET PELAJAR BAHASA MELAYU- BAHASA INGGERIS - BAHASA MELAYU).

i consider this not gentleman:
a man who sits beside me(outside, 2-seater) in a bus & does not stand up fully to allow me to alight. instead, he turns partially only.


i'm filled with guilt. i spent over 20 bucks today at marine parade. i sent baha to madr & then went back home to take my things. then went back to bedok res to buy long shoelace & a spa(looks like a bamboo pole but it's much shorter). mpcl was my 2nd stop, to collect my cip letter & to find pictures on singapore. after that to parkway to search wallet & even longer shoelace. haha. failed to find a nice wallet, i went back. along the way, bought a t-shirt, a wallet for mum & a purse for myself since i realised i will take a long time to find a nice wallet. decided to drop by a nearby pasar malam. great offers there you know. stickers are sold at 20cents per sheet, 12 for $1. bought 1 for baha. & of course...many more.


baha was banned from entering habbo. & i don't even know why. they said baha cheated in trading. i checked with him but he denied anything. i think i believe him as he looked innocent.

i give up polishing my boots. i tried re-coating it twice but it became worse. the 1st time polishing is only shiny on the heel & toe parts, & cracks on the right toe. i took nearly 2h to polish it. still, it does not shine that much. sick & tired of the dull boots, i decided to re-coat it & then re-polish it, like what athi said. it did not work. more cracks were seen. due to peer pressure & the constant asking of ma'ams, "did you polished your boots?", i decided to re-coat it again. unfortunately, li er told me in the last minute that i've road marshalling duty the next day but i've yet to re-coat my boots. so i re-coat + polish it in less than a day which won't work.
guess i must tolerate this not-shiny-boots-with-cracks-all-over of mine till i get a new pair, which is next year. meanwhile, i shall get my squadmate's help. how i wished i could also get from siti:(.


my hands are still aching from apt. omg, jiat said that afternoon one is tougher. ma'am made us do 5000 twinkles just now. damn aching orh.


i think will get obvious eyebags soon. so don't be surprised okay. have to settle a lot of things. yesterday, i slept at nearly 2 to complete my homework. & i only took less than 2h of afternoon nap can.

1st of all, i would like to notify you that the time stated below is a little bit inaccurate by a few hours.


school will ends at 1340 this year instead of 1335. 5 min is added for the administrative matters between the form teacher & his/her form class. does 5 min make a difference?


i'm still a malay rep. i don't mind being it because it's quite slack. furthermore, i can make it as an excuse not to hold other leading roles. poor jaan have to lead 2M again. i've wanted to vote ayes but my vote will not make a difference.



tomorrow's the starting of apt. just can't wait to see the new recruited sec 1s into the unit. hope they will enjoy their np life to the fullest.

tomorrow's 3rd of jan. yeap. a new chapter of my secondary life. i'm gonna be the oldest in lower sec. i'm in lance coporal (how do you spell it?). yay. changes are taking place.


cedar's a great place to be in. though a great friend haven't be found yet. i mean...it's a great environment there. wild, sporting...whenever i met my friends outside, i will have that special feeling. like...hey, this is my friend from cedar who have gone through everything with me. haha...it will take a long time for my smile to disappear.


i just finished chatting with huma. she told me something about iska. you know, that name just reminds me of something erm...happy...&...embarassing & should i say a sacrifice? happy because he once make me always tickled. embarassing 'cause i don't know the "truth". what the madr girls, rafi & some of the boys said about him were contradicting. rafi especially. her words were unbelieving.


time flies. it's a small world. currently, huwa's in the same class as him. & now, huma's going out with him. because of certain reason, i will forget him. i will just regard him as ooh...huwa's classmate who was once in the same school as me. yeap...i'm *gulp* NOT disappointed at all...
unless somebody can't keep his/her mouth shut, i believe only syah, amir, fais, some of his close friends & me know about this in eps. i shall pretend nothing happened.