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Focus
dal

I am not obliged to update regularly nor put up posts to your interests.


curl fingers, hi
here's how it goes. i'll most likely reply on your tagboard. but if you don't have one, the reply goes here.

Monday, May 29, 2006
12:01
accordin to kak mardh, the prickly feeling after kayaking is due to fibreglass. now my skin texture is not smooth as before. everytime i think of the prickly feeling, i start to have goosebumps.

you should see kak nur's wedding photo with nek anong's 20 odd grandchildren. i'm like towering over my cousins la. includin those much older than me. & i'm never proud of that.

during the few days after atc, i find myself feeling irritated at every slightest things. apart from the fatigue from the camp, the week was packed with np activities.
i felt irritated when my family members talk to me.
i felt irritated i had to pack my bag & iron my clothes for the next day.
i feel irritated when my family members occupied my space. as a result, i have to take bearing from my room to the other room for kiblat.
i feel irritated thinking of them who can't accept the fact that they were dominating.
i feel irritated mum forced me to eat although i was already full & started my appetite again.
i feel irritated at myself for eating alot. in the contrast, i won't stop eating till i brush my teeth.
i feel irritated realising i need to do alot of things this holidays but i haven't plan a single thing!
i felt irritated i had to wake up to pray. but this is a question of faith. after syf last saturday, i just lay dead on the sofa & at 4, mum woke me up & asked me to bathe(see, i was so exhausted till i hadn't my shower yet since i reached home at around 3). for the 1st time in my life, i woke up crying in frust longing for sleep. then, i felt irritated i couldn't immediately sleep after bathing as i had to wait for Asar to perform the prayer. as i hang around, i was irritated kak hafiz & kak mardh for staring at me. even though i felt a bit fresh after the shower i told myself i had to sleep because i learnt my lesson that i HAVE to sleep immediately after a tiring activity. i didn't immediately sleep after atc that's why i ended up craving for sleep the whole week after that. true enough, i felt peace after the sleep. i appreciate that mum seemed to understand that i was exhausted. she din ask me to do chores & let me sleep to my heart's content.
haha. during the syf last saturday, almost all cedar np people were like dozing their heads off during break. it was obvious because we make up the most of the contingent.

wow. aren't these symptomps of stress? oh oh...



anyway, this was when the kittens slept in the flower pot i told you the other day(that was about weeks ago?). mind you, this flower pot is about the normal size.


Monday, May 22, 2006
17:11
brainwashed.

she's made a fool of everyone.

i blame it to my timidity.

would they ever hear me out?
a picture is worth a thousand words.
so must i paint a picture?

experiencing post-camp now.
> i'm tanned! felt prickly all over after kayaking. not sure whether it's due to seawater+a-lot-of-exposure-under-sun or the powder.
>body ache
> was yawning all the way. i even overslept in school this afternoon i din even hear the bell had rung. it's the 1st time i genuinely sleep in class! there, gauge my exhaustion.
> i have yet to pack the minor stuff.
> stuffing myself with proper food now. how much i miss them. but i'm not sick of canned food yet.
> i was cravin' for music till i argued with kak mardh over the pc for soothing music(& not some off-tune piece of guitar) before falling asleep.
> tompok almost din recognise me. yea, i hugged her so many times when i reached home.
> on the journey to & from school, i can't help but to smile as the funny moments i had during the camp surfaced. i consider myself lucky to have group1.

i nearly had to go back on the second day.


Thursday, May 18, 2006
00:14
sorry i laughed too much this mornin'.

-> barely less than 2 more freakin days...


i hate hyprocites.


Monday, May 15, 2006
18:02
the kittens are gone since 2 days ago. since then, she meowed in search of her kittens. after eating, she goes inside the rooms in the hope of finding them. everytime she goes out of my house, she shouts in the hope her kittens will hear her. sometimes, she sits around the plants in the hope of their return. she even followed us when we searched for the kittens. the stairs, the letter box, void deck, corridors, behind the bicycle, the next block, etc.
she sits quietly with sorrow eyes at my gate. kak hafiz & i sang this for her;
oh pulangkan pulangkanlah padaku
yang dikau curi tanpa relaku
oh bebaskanlah pulangkan mereka padaku
tiada kemaafan di sini
kau ragut degupan hatiku ini
akan kujejakimu ke mana jua
hingga akhir masa
sayang

we treat tompok like our baby. especially since she lost her kittens.
we cradle her like one
we talk to her like one
we stroke her like one
we hug her like one
i lull her to sleep like one

tompok needs to relief her udders. you can see a dent on top of it.

additional: doncha is also protective. she kinda dislikes people to touch her 2 siblings.


Saturday, May 13, 2006
00:17
doncha is fierce & social outcast(pariah :P).
baby is timid. hmm...suits its name.
clone is playful & the most adorable.

i pity tompok. bahar forever bullying her.

they've moved house a lot of times & currently they're at my neigbour's plants. once, they even huddled together & slept in a flower pot on the soil with plant in it!

some of my neighbours dislike them so tentatively, they will be sent to spca.


Friday, May 12, 2006
18:58
Why must it be on the days where we must miss the meet-the-parent session & the wedding reception?
I've no clue about my streaming & I would like to hear the talk on it. & gosh. This is a once in a life time opportunity; lunch at taman warisan, on the second day of atc.
We've to also miss cross-country but heck. Even if we were to attend, we'll be marshalling instead of running. But I think I prefer marshalling cross-country to sports day. Okay I sound sadistic.
Rejoice people. TECHNICALLY, my period will not be on these days.
I need 20 over bucks on the kit list. Mum will surely start barking.
I vowed never to cut my hair again until it's few-fingers-below-shoulder-length. But now I've to reconsider it

I didn't know kak mardh is this emotional.
She views herself as different because she has no interest in her studies, thus she won't be any use for the family so mum treated her differently. It sets me thinking - why does mum treat her differently in the first place? If I were to be compared with bahar, he's much more luckier. If kak mardh were to compare herself with kak hafiz, well it's hard to say. The latter has finished her studies so she has more freedom. If you turn back time, kak hafiz claimed that she sufferED the most for she had to take care of her younger siblings.
I was wrong when I thought these problems would end after o because my parents said kak mardh will be "liberated" after o & pleaded her to persevere on for a few more months.
Dad's disappointed with the 3 of us. He said we changed a lot from once an innocent young children, like bahar. LIKE HELLO, hes not disciplined! no i'm not pulling your legs. in fact, we girls were much more angelic when we were young. If I say he'll grow & mature, what if he's too late to be disciplined? On the other hand, men are late bloomers, so they need time to change for the better.
funnily enough, now the feeling of the previous relationship between goh and non-goh exist between the 3 of us.
I feel like having a thrashing session for my family. ah, roboh jugak rumah ni. Dad will be insistin on his way even though he asks us to speak up, mum will be talking in high pitch = scream, kak hafiz will either keep quiet or debate on her opinions kinda rudely, maybe the 3 of us will be crying. Bahar? He'll get scared out of his wits.
This is fun. One way to practice source-based cross-reference skill :P.


Tuesday, May 09, 2006
16:15
the pageant din went as what we planned. the cannon; poor veera had to bring it home & paint(although we asked her to paste black papers so it's easier) the whole thing black. the fort canning sign; we plucked leaves for nothing. & the blood tablet! the skit just ended like that. why was it at the mph instead of at as?

woohoo played soccer during pe. din know i suck at soccer. or rather, street soccer. i was screaming all the way. i failed to aim the ball properly. i din manage to score even though i was so close. & all these were witnessed by mr chan. tsk i was displaying myself as bimbo. it's ok, girls are stereotypically bimbos especially in these kind of areas. at least i'm a not-bad goalkeeper(:. to whoever i hurt, i'm so sorry.

why is the briefing postponed?!

so i've been tagged.
1. The tagged victim have to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there's no need to do this AGAIN.
5. The most impt rule: HAVE FUN DOING IT.

i can't be bothered to do this but nevermind. i shall act free & do it.

.religious
.caring
.responsible
.humorous
.understand every bit of me
.able to support me
.loves me forever
.doesn't teach me the meaning of real love because love is not a bed of roses

preferably male. does a person same sex as you gives you all these?

i couldn' t be bothered to carry out step 3.


Sunday, May 07, 2006
15:06
What I like about...

Ole (:
1 we are the only class in our level from Ole. Which also means only me & jess are the Ole people in Sirius :).
2 I just love the way the o is written, against the striking orange background.
3 our 1st year in cedar & Ole was the champion.
4 lots of stunts in cheerleading
5 our banner is beautiful. Apart from bougai
6 our cheer. The football chant coincides with our name. hah bougai tries to replace it with their nick.
7 ole is a nice nick

bougai
1 its banner

R
1 sweet - colour, their accessories last year & their cheerleading skirt this year.

Garde
1 why garde so pro is an annoying rhetorical question which they kept chanting. But I like the beat.

I
1 their striking yellow hat!
2 originality in their style for cheerleading. They chose the Japanese-girl style this year. by the way, ole adapt the hiphop fashion.

Don't ask me why I'm crapping all these things only now.


Baby's & clone's eyes are disgustingly disgusting. I feel the severe urge of dropping eyemo around their eyes to clean them...is it alright? I doubt so.


Friday, May 05, 2006
16:05
here's a reminder: i ain't rich. i have a life to lead & give me a chance to let me buy what i've been longing. so kindly stop asking me for money on unnecessary stuff.

full u during lesson was stinky. & hot, duh. even though we din do much. din take off beret during maths is even more ridiculous. haha.

i realised quite a handful of my primary school friends are now in np.

i have funky dance steps in my mind for 'pump it'. which is suitable for colours. i love it. but anyway they have choreograph the dance steps which i find it hard to catch up & too cliche. no offence.


Tuesday, May 02, 2006
17:01
i want need want belt,tops,bottoms,cardigan,giganticsofttoy,eyeliner,propertoothbrush,organkeyboard & the list goes on...
i want everything!

baha bullied tompok & i scolded him, "kesiankanlah tompok...". kak hafi thought it was nonsensical & she laughed.

visited granduncle on sunday at gh. then visited grandma. & then for the 1st time this year, my family had dinner outside(thanks to the bonus(:). the whole 6 of us managed to squeeze into aunt's car, excluding her who's driving. & i thank her for that. i miss my car...*ehem* i shall not entertain my nostalgaic feelings. but really, those were the days where my parents had no choice but to bring us out(yayness) if not what's the point of a red-plate car?

anyway. throughout the journey back to bedok from the dinner, i went hysterics in composing songs of tompok with kak hafi. with much improvisation, these are the 2 songs:-

kesiankanlah kesiankanlah kesiankanlah sesungguhnya
ucapkan kesian kepada tompok
setulus hati
pok pok pok


since we name the 2 of the kittens after this song...
doncha baby clone
i know you like them, i know you like them
i know you do, i know you do
that's why whenever you come around
you're all over them, you're all over them
Don't cha wish your children were hot like them?
Don't cha wish your kittens were cute like them?
Doncha baby clone

haha lame.